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Posted on Feb 10, 2009 in Before Marriage Blog, Just Goofing Around, My Crazy Family | 6 comments

Family Fun Days

In the farming community that I lived in until I was 12, the county fair was a really big deal.  There were all kinds of rides and they actually cancelled school because all the farm kids took animals they had raised to show and compete at the fair.  This was a totally foreign concept to me, but I wanted to go to the fair for the rides.  ALL the other kids went to the fair, but Mom and Dad would never take us.  It was terribly expensive to ride the rides.  I think you could get a bracelet to ride them all for $15 and that was highway robbery.When my little brother was a baby, I finally convinced Mom and Dad to take us to the fair.  Adam couldn’t have been more than 3 months old and they had this nifty carrier that Dad could strap to his chest to carry him around.  So off we went, into uncharted territory, with a father who was NOT HAPPY about the amount of money he was about to spend.  I was as dressed up as I could be with my little lavender purse just chock full of money ($7 was a lot of money to an 11 year old) and about to burst with excitement.

Things did not start off well.  Not only was Dad in a bad mood (which we all tried to ignore and act extra cheerful to help him out – no fighting, no asking to go to the bathroom), but he had not anticipated the parking situation.  A field had been turned into a parking lot and it was muddy and rough.  We had to park as far away as a person could get from the fair and hike in through the field.  Mom was wearing flip flops and after we’d hiked for a good 10 minutes (or so it seemed), her shoe broke.  So Dad tried to fix it with a soda pop can tab – adding to the tension of the day.  Dad got it fixed up so Mom could at least continue walking, sort of (she would never had admitted there was another problem at this point), and off we went again.

We made it through the evil ticket booth and got our bracelets to ride the rides.  Dad went off to show off this son to the people he might know and Mom took my sister and me to the teacups.  We rode a few rides and met back up with Dad again.

As we were walking along, us girls begging for some wonderful-smelling fair food and getting the stink-eye for asking to spend more money, Dad commented that his shirt felt wet.  Suddenly, we heard a great shout and looked over to see Dad standing stock still staring at his hand frozen in mid-air.  It was covered with yellowish brown slime.  Yup, folks, it was poop.  Upon further inspection, we found that our sweet little three-month old baby had at that very moment released more poop than we thought could come out of a grown man into the tiny littlest diaper – which of course could not hold all the poop.

There was poop everywhere:  all in the carrier, in Adam’s clothes, up his back, in his hair, all over Dad’s shirt and arm and hand…  And remember, things were already tense in the family that day.  This was one of the first times they’d used the carrier, so they weren’t familiar with how to put it on and take it off, and those things can be kind of tricky.  So Dad found an empty tent at the edge of the fair and commanded us all inside while he and Mom tried to figure out how to get this carrier thing off him and Adam out of it without smearing any more poop around.  Oh, by the way, it stunk to high heaven!  There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth…

Katie and I stood off to the side and tried our best not to laugh out loud.  I mean, what else do you do in that kind of a situation???  Stay out of the way and do all you can to stifle your giggles and PRAY that at some point this will strike Dad as funny.

As we were waiting for Dad to get cleaned up, I suddenly realized that I didn’t have my little lavender purse that contained my life savings.  And so we retraced our steps, Dad only a little stinky, Mom’s shoe hanging on by a thread, and me crying my eyes out…  We finally found it in a trash can around the corner from the teacups.  Everything was still in the purse but the cash.

I’m pretty sure we left the fair then.  If I had any memory of the ride home, I’m sure I’ve suppressed it by now!

6 Comments

  1. i felt the tension all over again as i read it … thus the reason we left s.c. when we did

  2. Well, at least now we can laugh about it. 🙂

  3. Oh Kimberly, how I miss you!!! I am reading your blog at work and have laughed so hard that I have just about fell out of my chair, not once, but twice. And of course my laughter is not quiet, nor containable…therefore, I have had four co-workers come to check on me to try and figure out, ha – once again, what is so funny. And with some came the usual comment “what kind of drugs are you on?”. But I am so thankful that God has blessed me with the joy of being “high on life” that no drug on this earth could ever bring me! And of course, it is very beneficial when you have friends that are very gifted in providing you with good, clean humor as yourself. I MISS YOU SO MUCH! And you are gifted in so many areas that have blessed me more than you will ever know! Thanks for starting this blog and sharing your words and thoughts with us. I am blessed to know you. I LOVE YOU!
    E

  4. I miss you too, Elizabeth! Thanks for the comment. I hope you keep reading. 🙂 And I love your natural high!!!

  5. Kimberly, I know this was not a good day for any of you, but you are a very good writer and this was really funny! You’ve got me hooked–I will be reading (and commenting on) your blog. I look forward to being amused, challenged and amazed! Love, Carol R.

  6. Well first, Elizabeth’s comment made me laugh out loud even more so than your blog, I couldn’t imagine falling out of a chair at work, let alone twice! The visual is too funny!

    I love it when our Dad’s have days like these – not on that particular day or at that particular time of course, but looking back makes for great laughs! I remember that my dad was in a horrible mood one night. I don’t know what kind of day he had had but apparently it wasn’t good. As family tradition, we all sat at the dinner table and begin eating our dinner. My sister and I got the giggles about something, I can’t remember what but I do remember that we wouldn’t stop. Dad kept telling us in his deep voice that was enough, that was enough. Well unbeknownst to us, Mom had joined in with the giggles. For the life of me I can’t remember what we were giggling at but there was so much laughter that tears we running down our faces. Well Dad had had it – he took his fist, slammed it on the dinner table and said, “I SAID ENOUGH!” Well needless to say, I got grounded to my room for the remainder of the night because once he did that, I busted it out and the green beans I had placed in my mouth were now glued to his face! Oops!

    Ah the memories! I laugh now just remembering it!

    Great read!

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