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Posted on May 7, 2012 in Marriage | 2 comments

On (Not) Missing My Husband

On (Not) Missing My Husband

At Sedona, March 2011

When Rick and I were dating, we lived 7 hours apart from one another.  We saw each other every few weeks for long weekends.  A couple of times we were together for about 10 days straight.  When we were together, we spent every waking minute together, so there wasn’t the same kind of dating relationship that many people have – only seeing one another at their best for nice nights out.  But after seeing each other for our visits, we went back to not seeing each other at all for weeks, and at one time several months.

When we weren’t together, I missed him, but I found I could handle it pretty well for about two weeks.  That third week usually got harder and it went downhill from there.  When we got married, one of the biggest adjustments for me was that suddenly we were together non-stop.  On our honeymoon we were only apart a couple times for an hour or so.  Honestly, I got a little buggy.  As extroverted as I am, I am almost equally introverted, needing a lot of time alone to feel at peace and balanced.  Rick is used to be around other people all the time, so I don’t know that he had any of those feelings.

When we got back to the house, it was off-season for the farm.  Rick didn’t have much work to do and I needed help in the house, so we were together constantly then as well.  When he was offered a temporary job with a friend, I was thankful.  I wanted him helping me get the house set up and organized, but I also needed some time alone.  It was nice to have the opportunity to miss him while he was gone during the day.

Since then we’ve settled into a nice routine.  He works on the farm during the day and even sometimes in the evenings. I make a large noon meal, get the housework done, and have time for writing.  When he’s gone in the evenings, I miss him.  I wonder when he’s coming back and I try to think of how to make it extra-nice when he finally comes in the house.

I’ve been enjoying married life on the farm immensely, but I needed to see my little niece and nephew in South Carolina too.  I have a five-month old nephew and I’ve only seen him twice.  He’s growing and growing and I’m missing it.  Rick couldn’t leave the farm because it was getting close to time for planting.

So I made my plans for a little trip alone.  It was hard to tell him goodbye.  I was excited about the little blonde four-year old and her cuddly brother in SC who were waiting for me though.  When I got through security in the airport, I was greatly satisfied to be met by my pajama-clad niece who couldn’t contain her excitement and was jumping up and down and screaming.

I couldn’t sleep the first night though.  I kept waking up and realizing I was on the wrong side of the bed, trying to find Rick.  When we were dating, we talked on the phone all the time – hours every day.  It seemed we never ran out of things to say.  Since we got married, we rarely talk on the phone.  But being away from him reminded me that we still have much to say to one another, talking several times a day on the phone just like “old times.”  We don’t need the phone when we’re together.  (I’m so glad for that!  I got really tired of the phone after a while.)

On the third and final day of my trip, I woke up with a strong feeling of missing him.  I love waking up to him every morning.  So many times when I was single, I woke up and wished there was a warm, loving husband beside me.  At times, I went to bed at night aching with loneliness.

That’s why missing each other a little here and there is probably a good thing.  When we don’t have any time away, we tend to forget how much we appreciate one another.  I enjoyed my visit with my sweet little niece and fluffy nephew who just discovered his toes.  And I looked forward to feeling my husband’s arms around me when I returned.

2 Comments

  1. Awe!! Balance is so good. I am so glad you can find the good in everything and everyone. I’m thinking I need to help you with this by inviting you to Nashville!!! I want to help you keep that fonder feeling in your marriage alive with absolutely no selfish motivation of mine!! Can’t wait for a visit hear or there this summer. I am blessed with a two day work week and five days off in a row. Thank You Lord and hubby! Blessings, Jenn

  2. I can relate…Jack retired a year ago this May and I am having to adjust to having him home 24/7. We are working it out, though. I love my space and “me time” and he is learning to respect that and not feel rejected. There are definite advantages and I’m learning to appreciate them. 🙂

If we were chatting over a cup of coffee, what would you tell me?

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