Written May 22, 2012
Last night I woke up at 4:30 a.m. I very rarely ever wake up in the middle of the night like that, so I got up and got a drink, then crawled back in bed. Rick was sound asleep on the far side of our enormous king-size bed. I scooted all the way over to him and cuddled up close. He was snoring away, but in his sleep he put his arm around me and held on tight. As I was falling back asleep, I was overwhelmed with the comfort and feeling of welcome I have with him. Tears sprung to my eyes as I realized – I am always welcome in his arms. Always. As he continued to make his funny sleep noises, I thought about how I often wave him away as we’re falling asleep. I’m hot. I’m not comfortable. I need some space. But it’s never like that with him. He always welcomes me into his arms.
Part of his ability to welcome me is that he can sleep through just about anything. I sleep well, but not if I’m too hot, in the wrong position, or crowded. With him, a big part of it is just who he is. When we’re arguing, he wants to hug me or hold my hands. I want about five feet of personal space. He is a very unusual man.
Knowing I’m always welcome in his arms brings me great peace and a sense of stability I’ve never known. I may feel out of place, judged, misunderstood, or just plain disliked in other places with other people, but with him I am totally accepted and loved. I waited a long time for this kind of commitment, for this kind of love. He was totally worth the wait.