One year ago today was my first full day as Mrs. Kimberly Wyse.
One year ago today I stopped being a girl without a home of her own, who lived in fear that her car would break down because she had no money to get it fixed, barren and wanting children badly, who had no health insurance, who had no family close by, and who was tired of being alone in a sea of friends and acquaintances. I opened my eyes on a new day and found myself with a partner in life, married to a man who is related to nearly everyone in his (now our) community, provided for, with the hope that a child might already have been created or would be soon, and with a beautiful home to call my own. We left on a three-week honeymoon, driving to Gatlinburg for a week in a tiny mountain cabin. I remember that week for it’s warm fires in the fireplace, cozy meals as I cooked for my husband, visits to the hot tub in the freezing cold, and struggling through high emotions and anxiety. I felt like I’d jumped off a cliff without a parachute, but soon realized that my jump had landed me in the safest, most comforting arms I could imagine.
One year ago today, I began a new journey. I had to learn to adjust to a community I hadn’t been in for 24 years. I had to release my fears and relax into the loving embrace of Rick’s family and friends who are all around us. (He is related to or friends with half the nursing staff in the OB unit where I had Eliana!) We had to learn to adjust to one another, dealing with the questions of why each of us does things the way we do them and then decide if we’ll adopt a new way or stick with one of the old ways. Oh, and not take it personally as we work through that process… I had to learn to trust someone else to take care of certain aspects of life for me, a very hard adjustment when one has been as independent as I have. While I think that our maturity has helped us through these transitions with more ease than some couples may experience, it hasn’t all been calm and reasonable conversations over homemade meals. There have been tears, misunderstandings, miscommunications, and even yelling and slamming doors.
We have found a pretty good balance in this last year though. I discovered after a few months that yelling got us nowhere. Most of our challenges can be boiled down to different styles of doing things. If we can find the words to explain ourselves to one another and try to understand each other’s perspective, we can make it through anything. We often discuss our different opinions, walk away for a while to think about it, then come back together to find a compromise that works for both of us. We are quick to apologize. We are quick to forgive and forget. Once a matter has been decided, we try not to bring it back up again but just move on. We try to be compassionate with one another, understanding that we’re both sensitive to certain things because of experiences we’ve had, and then try to work around those issues.
One of our biggest challenges this year was the unexpected and horrible sickness I had through pregnancy. Thankfully we had several months together to establish some sort of routine and standard before God gave us a child. Rick might have otherwise feared that he married the laziest, saddest woman he could find. Although it was really hard on both of us, I learned a new respect for my husband through all the misery. He has a beautiful servant’s heart and he graciously took over household duties, even after working long days on the farm. The difficulty of pregnancy made the relief of delivery and motherhood that much more joyful. Labor and delivery were not fun, but they were really nothing compared with months on end of terrible sickness. The relief of being able to breathe and eat normally, to be able to touch my toes, to be able to walk around without seeing spots, to no longer take my blood pressure and blood sugar constantly, has increased my joy at having a sweet baby to love that much more. I’ve heard of women who cry on the way home from the hospital because they aren’t pregnant any more. That isn’t me! In spite of some soreness and the need to take it easy for a few weeks, I feel great and am joyful and overwhelemed with happiness.
We have had some difficulties this year – like the cancer diagnosis and treatment my mother has gone through. There have been challenges that have taken my breath away. But there has also been such joy.
366 days ago, I stepped into a new life. After waiting and waiting for so long, believing for God to intervene in my life and provide the blessings He had promised, I finally stepped into the time of blessing. Like a butterfly that’s been in it’s cocoon and finally made it out, I began to fly. I had heard a quote that resounded with me that goes, “Nothing happens and nothing happens and nothing happens; and then EVERYTHING happens.”
Rick is the husband I prayed for. There is no such thing as perfection here on earth, but he is a special blessing that comes very close. He has given me everything I prayed for – a husband, children, and a home of my own. More than that, he has shown me love, devotion, tenderness, and so much more. He is my best friend, the kind of father any child would love to have, trustworthy, kind, affectionate, and fun. I am so glad I married this man. And the icing on the cake is our sweet little daughter, Eliana Rose. She melts my heart and fills me with joy.
Thank You, God, for the blessings You’ve given me. I am full to overflowing.