Be kind to yourself.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
Are these things you've heard others say to you? These are things I heard for many years, but it felt like it was just another way I failed. I didn't know how to be kind to myself, and frankly, I was afraid to be too kind to myself. If I wasn't so hard on myself, would I become lazy, selfish, or prideful? Would I spiral out of control?
I finally put the question into words one day in a therapy session. I needed to know exactly HOW to be kind to myself. I literally do not know how to do it.
Thoughtfully, my therapist asked if I could think of myself the way I thought of my little daughter. When she struggled, how did I treat her? Did I yell at her and tell her she wasn't enough and never would be? Did I ridicule her or tell her that proved she'd never amount to much?
Absolutely not.
If I started speaking to myself the way I spoke to my daughter when she struggled, it would change everything. I decided to give it a try.
The great news is, I didn't become a lazy, selfish, or prideful person as a result. In fact, I became a more loving and generous person. Think about the way a child responds to harsh criticism as opposed to a child who is treated with kindness and compassion. Years of damage from being so hard on myself is quickly healing, allowing me to flourish in ways I never thought possible. Being kind to myself gave those around me permission to be kind to themselves, which has ripple effects for generations to come.
How would you treat a dear friend or hurting child who came to you in the middle of their struggle? Extend that same grace to yourself today.
It's the grace and love of Jesus, and you have as much access to it as anyone. It's His free gift, and it's available to you.
If your inner critic is so tough, you find yourself passing it on to your children, family, and friends, try to think of someone. Anyone. who you have grace and compassion for. I recognize that you've built that hard exterior for a reason. It's tough to let your guard down, even for a moment. This exercise isn't going to turn you into a bumbling fool. No one else even has to know. Just you. It's NOT ridiculous. YOU DESERVE GRACE AND COMPASSION, TOO.
Together, let's unleash a ripple effect of compassion and healing that will echo through generations. If you're ready to try the transformative power of self-kindness, send me a private message. I'm here to walk alongside you. 💖
Love,
Kimberly
