Are you facing anxiety in your motherhood journey? Parenting is full of question marks, and when your heart is walking around outside your body in your precious child, it puts you in a very vulnerable position. If you make a mistake, it can hold big consequences. It can also be overwhelming to be responsible for such a needy little person 24/7. Managing mom anxiety is a bigger deal than many realize, and I will help you learn how to deal with it.
In my case, I think I've dealt with all the types of anxiety related to motherhood, but I'm sure you could enlighten me on ones I've missed. For example, I remember holding my newborn daughter, the one I wanted more than anything I'd ever desired before (or since, probably). It was the middle of the night, she was just weeks old, and I'd been taking care of her with great joy.
I was tired, though, and she only wanted to be held. She cried every time I put her down. I remember suddenly being hit with the anxious thought that I'd be this exhausted for the rest of my life because I was a mother now. In that moment, the idea that I'd never sleep again because I had a baby seemed realistic. (Spoiler alert: you do sleep again.) I didn't feel prepared for managing that level of mom anxiety, and I certainly didn't know how to deal with it.
I've faced anxiety over nearly all the important decisions. When my oldest two were little, I orchestrated their lives like a symphony. I had to deal with my husband's conflicting ideas about a few things, but for the most part I made sure they had the right balance of everything. Just enough protein and fiber to balance out carbs and sugars, enough exercise and sunshine to balance out downtime, very little screen time, adventures with their daddy and me, time with their grandparents and extended family, perfectly matching outfits and coordinated hair bows, activities to stimulate their bodies and brains, church, travel, etc.
Then, our perfectly orchestrated world (of course, it wasn't perfect, but not from any lack of effort on my part) skidded to a screeching halt. Crisis and trauma caused all my carefully constructed kingdoms to lay in rubble at my feet. I no longer had the time or capacity to perfectly orchestrate anything. I had to rely on other people to take care of them, and I remember how upset I was that they didn't know which outfits went together and there were no more hair bows. They were fed too much sugar and very little protein.
When things started to calm down enough that I could orchestrate their world again, the song had changed. Priorities had shifted dramatically. I had new things to focus anxiety on; things like disability and feeding intolerance and managing heart defects. It's hard to remember how the things I just listed needed to be dealt with when things had calmed down.
I've been a Christian all of my life, and there have been times the Lord has answered specific anxious prayers with truth that has miraculously helped me in managing mom anxiety. In general, though, loving Jesus hasn't cured my anxiety. I write that with sadness because I know Jesus is the answer to all of life's questions. Through the power of Jesus and His love for me, I've had the courage to seek answers to my fears. He's helped me through all of my most anxious moments, but to this day I still deal with it.
Here's what I know. Through relentless prayer and searching, managing mom anxiety has become something I've learned how to deal with effectively. I'm not going to list all the things I’ve tried here, but it’s a lot. In my book, I tell the story of my early days of motherhood. I include several stories about how I dealt with overwhelming anxiety. It’s instructional without sounding like a textbook. I encourage you to either get the paperback or audiobook. You’ll enjoy the dramatic story of my journey from finally becoming a mother to dealing with extreme crisis in motherhood, while learning a lot of practical ways to handle anxiety and crisis as a Christian.
I also do live presentations on dealing with anxiety as a mother (or otherwise, really) that I’d be happy to share with your group. There are some very practical, easily accessible things you can do to help your mind and body get out of that constant cycle of anxiety and live in a more peaceful way. Contact me at kimberly@kimberlywyse.com to schedule your next meeting.
Love,
Kimberly
P.S. To read more blog posts about my journey through anxiety, here are some places to start: I've Been the One Breaking, PTSD After a Traumatic Birth and the NICU, and Coping When Our Plans are Frustrated and Torn Apart.
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