For many years as a single adult, Psalm 25 was my anthem. Please, God, don't let me be ashamed. I'm waiting for you. Show me what to do. Teach me. (verses 1-5) It's a long chapter, so I'm not going to put it all here, but if you click the underlined part above, it's a link to the whole thing.
I prayed it every morning for many years. Yeah, just kidding. I'm terrible at routine. I prayed it often, but the only thing I do every morning is drink coffee. My brain has always kept me hopping and I've learned to go with it. You can pray in the morning if that works for you, but God loves it just as much if you pray whenever you can focus. I chose the title "morning prayer" because of the pretty photo of a sunrise.
Back to Psalm 25 though... Because I did pray it often.
I believed God had called me to get married and have children. If you've been around here for long, you know that didn't happen until I was 36. I can only imagine how Sarah felt, waiting for children until she was 90. I thought the wait might kill me. God finally gave me a good husband and three precious babies, just in the nick of time. Nearly 12 years later, sometimes I can forget how I'm living in my answered prayers today.
Children are a blessing, and they keep you running to the feet of Jesus every day in need of new prayers to be answered. Lord, help me not run screaming out of this house and never come back! Keep them safe. Give me wisdom to guide them. What do I do about THIS behavior? This situation? Please heal them. Help me comfort them. Help me lead them to You. Oh, help them not to see what a mess I am.
A good spouse provides so much stability and support, and they will STILL keep you running to the feet of Jesus every day in need of new prayers to be answered. Lord, help me to be understanding, loyal, and kind, even when I'm frustrated and hurt. Keep him safe. Give me wisdom to love him well. How do I handle THIS struggle? Please heal him. Help me comfort him. Help me show him Your love every day. Help me remember that he is not my everything - YOU ARE. Help him love me when I'm at my worst. I'm obviously a delight, but he might need extra help today.
A family has provided so many new ways for me to need to repent, too. As I read Psalm 25 today, I'm full of gratitude that God answered my prayers. He didn't allow me to be ashamed. I waited for Him and He gave me exactly what I needed. Although His timing is still a mystery to me, I'm sure someday I'll understand it as a blessing. I'm also sure younger me would've needed to repent in many more ways that this older, tired version of me does.
Today, I focus less on the beginning of the Psalm and more on the end. Living in my answered prayers, I pray: Lord, keep my soul and deliver me. Let me not be ashamed, for I put my trust in you. Let integrity and uprightness preserve me. For I wait for you. (verses 20-22)
Don't let me foolishly lose these gifts You've entrusted to me. Although I feel strong, I always want to stay humble. I don't want to assume I could never fall away. Even King David messed up horribly. So I pray: Keep my soul close to Yours. Deliver me from temptation and fear. Help me always walk in integrity and uprightness.
God has been good to me, giant mess that I've been. He's shown me how to manage my brain that doesn't work like most people's. He's given me a husband who's honest and loyal, who will never leave me or turn away from the Lord. He's even taught me His ways. In one of the greatest shocks ever, God's started waking me up early almost every day so I can spend time with Him before the wildness of the day with three young children distracts me. (I've never been a morning person.)
I still wait for Him. I guess you aren't fully alive if you aren't waiting for something that hasn't come yet. But today I often wait with contentment. I've seen desperate times when waiting was almost more than I could bear, and I know they can come again. I've learned, even in the very worst of circumstances when it feels like the whole world lays in rubble at your feet, that's when the Lord is closest. Even if you can't feel His presence, He's there. You'll look back later and see Him so clearly. Just wait. God will keep His promises to you. You won't be ashamed. He really is our good and faithful God.
If you'd like prayer, I'd be happy to join you. Just comment below or send a private message to kimberly@kimberlywyse.com. I read them myself, respond as soon as I have a few minutes to do so thoughtfully, and truly pray. If you're reading this blog, you're important to me and I've already been praying for you. I don't take the gift of your time and attention lightly. Thank you for reading.
